Monday, January 23, 2006

Don't let it happen to you...

There has been a discussion of STRESS recently on the Quiltart list. What it does to you, and how you deal with it, and ultimately how to reduce it. For me, the big "kick in the butt" came about five years ago when I was having a terrible time at my job. I had returned after being off work recovering from a hysterectomy. I came back to, "Oh, we knew that only you could do this right, so we saved it for you." I felt some animosity from co-workers, and it was very uncomfortable. Something was changing inside of me, too - I no longer felt any passion about what I was doing at my job. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I had to quit. It took a long time to understand. Leading up to this decision, I experienced the following in a 8 month period: having arthroscopic knee surgery, and going back to work too soon; husband having a tumor removed from his arm (it was okay, thank God) - and at the same time a parent got sick; hysterectomy 2 months later; car stolen; purse snatched; a vacation where we were blasted by a sibling for everything that we were doing wrong in our lives; and then came the big one: the "bubble in the cosmos"- my cerebral aneurysm.
Major brain surgery is not one of those things that you want to go through...

To start the healing process, and to keep myself going, I made a quilt. It was called "Bubble in the Cosmos," and it depicted my brain with a large red glass bead in about the same location as my aneurysm was. I only showed the quilt to friends, never out in public. I never photographed it, because it was too personal.

Looking back, I should not have been surprised at how my body reacted to everything that had happened. What's left are occasional attacks of vertigo, and I see those as gentle reminders that something within myself needs attention. My jaw gets very tight, too. It's now time for journaling, a night walk, time in my studio, and occasionally, embassing the hell out of my son (done for my total enjoyment only)...

What am I saying here? Do whatever it takes to rescue yourself from the day to day stuff that's not good for you! Pay attention to the warning signs, even if the docs can't put a name to it. Your body may be crying out for help. Go into your studio, or other sacred place, and even if you're not ready to start that new quilt or other project, pick up an armful of fabric, and toss it into the air! Immerse yourself in your art...who among us has never put a bit of who we are into our creations? It's important work that we do.

Let the healing begin, please.....

1 comment:

Karoda said...

A rightous amen to that!